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by **AdrianFRST** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:55 pm

Bruster's Quality Tests:

Last Saturday evening in Essex I left Charlie sat in my Zetec-S while me and Lou went to check into our rooms. A few minutes later I returned and was somewhat alarmed to see him poking and proding around the car, white lab coat donned and clipboard and biro in hand. It materialised he was carrying out the strict Bruster Quality Vehicle Test™ - assessing each aspect of the car to investigate if it came up to his standard definition of a Bruster Quality Vehicle (also ™). The results were as follows:

Doors - Resounding clunk when shut. [PASS]

Interior light - fades gently when doors closed not just on/off action. [PASS]

Windscreen - tinted section in the gap between the sunvisors, ghey minature third sun visor not acceptable. [PASS]

Indicators - separate flashing light in instrument cluster for left / right. [PASS]

Engine Vibration - aka 'The 2p Test'. a 2p is palced on the rocker cover and is observed to see if it vibrates off or stays in place. Due to the angle of the rocker cover in the Zetec-S this caused the coin to fall off the rocker and become lodged in the intake manifold... [INCONCLUSIVE]

Glovebox Lid - not excessively asymetrical. [PASS]

Dashboard - curvature in excess of 15 degrees but no single curve exceeding 35 degrees. [PASS]

Overall results very impressive, the same tests carried out on a 1983 beige diesel Metro van proved not so impressive...

_________________

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: AdrianFRST on 2002-03-21 17:55 ]</font>

by **Muzza** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:59 pm

by **fiestakingfisher** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:59 pm

Yeah, the 2p test was especially comedy!! :lol:

by **Doc** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:13 pm

what about the tried and tested tyre kicking test??? :lol:

by **vanny magnet** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:32 pm

Oh no!

FT.com has its very own version of Jeremy Clarkson :lol:

Is any motor now safe from the Bruster test, im gonna lock my van away untill he stops his reign of motoring terror on us all, lol :lol:

by **Excursion** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:44 pm

the original 2p test was "coined" ahem from the rover sd1 v8's in the tc3000's

they were so smooth the 2p was able to stand on its end! whilst engine was running.

all those tests bar the glovebox lid and dashboard are very good though!!

by **The Bruster** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:49 pm

Ade you git! (again)

Sad thing is its all true (most of it!)

I must admit tho my soarer has the gay extra flap above the rear view mirror between the main visors :rolleyes:

by **elm_us** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:03 pm

i believe it was true

by **AntVan** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:08 pm

My diesel would have no chance on the 2p test LOL. :lol:

by **chumkila** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:08 pm

i do believe the youngman's lost the plot! :lol:

by **TrekkieFRST** on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:18 pm

you so know he lost it years ago!!! :grin:

by **The Bruster** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:20 am

me? lost it? NEVER!!! :bonkers:

by **andymac** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:54 am

Sorry m8, but you did. Roundabout 1986.

:aviator:

by **custom boy** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:59 am

by **AndyBlackFRST** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:38 am

The 2p test was great.. The panic in your face when it dropped down Ade was funny.. The Bruster just looked amazed, Maybe he wanted to note it on his clipboard as failed!!

Then he uses a fen to get the 2p out and drops the pen lid down..

Thank god for long fingers.. always knew they were for something :razz:

by **The Bruster** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:40 pm

May I just od one aspect where the Zetec S clearly failed?

well I'm going to anyway - NO GLOVEBOX LIGHT. [fail]

:lol:

read it and weep Ade!

The look and Andy's girlfreinds face when I nicked her pen of her mid sentace, mid essey, and proceded to drop half of it into Adrians engine bay was worth a laugh too!

I never caught you name but sorry Andy's bird™ anyway :aviators:
_________________
Aviaters and a Mk3 Supra.... if only it was the 80s

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: The Bruster on 2002-03-22 13:42 ]</font>

by **AndyBlackFRST** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:43 pm

when do you want that bumper mate?

by **AndyBlackFRST** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:43 pm

when do you want that bumper mate?

by **The Bruster** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 3:43 pm

whenever!!!!!! when you next in this area? :grin:

by **AndyBlackFRST** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 4:36 pm

I'm off to coventry tomorrow night mate.. not that close though..

by **The Bruster** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:04 pm

not to close no!

by **AndyBlackFRST** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:31 pm

i'M GOING TO DONNINGTON FIRST TO PICK UP MY NEW 2I!

by **The Bruster** on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:41 pm

by **AdrianFRST** on Fri Dec 13, 2002 11:58 pm

Another "classic" (and I use the term in it's loosest possible sense) dragged up from the archives.

by **MtY** on Tue Mar 25, 2003 9:43 pm

is it jeremy clarkson? or is it more of a quentin wilson??

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Bruster's Quality tests

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