fiestaturbo.com

[luke_mk3_st]

f**k me, roy hodgson just drove past me about 100mph! no seatbelt on, holding a can of strongbow beepin his Horn. the c**t would do anything for 3points.!!

[luke_mk3_st]

Me and the family went ten pin bowling and the wife got a strike!


Right across the fudgekin face for gloating!!

[~nomad~]

How do you kill a blue elephant?


Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a pink elephant?


Strangle the elephant until it turns blue and then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

[~nomad~]

"One lady owner."

So the clutch is f**cked then.

[Chris 2i]

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?




Gang rape.

[luke_mk3_st]

hahaha

[luke_mk3_st]

I lost 9 stone over the summer, now I only weigh 12, My friend asked me what my big secret was? I told him I once raped a 6 year old It had nothing to do with the weight loss. but he asked

[~nomad~]

I lost 9 stone over the summer, now I only weigh 12, My friend asked me what my big secret was? I told him I once raped a 6 year old It had nothing to do with the weight loss. but he asked

sickapedia lol

[Ruishy1]

I went to my first Muslim birthday party last weekend,

Musical chairs was a bit boring, but pass the parcel was fast

[jayrs]

[andymac]

Strangle the elephant until it turns blue and then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

That's a "dad" joke

[~nomad~]

how do you find Will Smith in the snow?



















































look for the fresh prince.

[jayrs]

woman sat in a bar drinking Champaign, a guy notice that every time she has a glass of Champaign she drinks one then tips a glass into her lap...
After half hour he goes over and asked, “i couldn’t help but notice that every time you have a glass of Champaign you tip another in your lap... why??”

Woman reply’s, “i won the lottery last night, and this is the only c*nt I’m sharing it with!”

[luke_mk3_st]

woman sat in a bar drinking Champaign, a guy notice that every time she has a glass of Champaign she drinks one then tips a glass into her lap...
After half hour he goes over and asked, “i couldn’t help but notice that every time you have a glass of Champaign you tip another in your lap... why??”

Woman reply’s, “i won the lottery last night, and this is the only c*nt I’m sharing it with!”

hahaha like that one!

[Ruishy1]

thats a good one jay



Police in Liverpool just announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2000 semi automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 20 tonnes of heroin, £50 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes all in a semi- detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.

Local residents were stunned.

A community spokesman said:



"We're shocked. We never knew we had a Library!!"

[jayrs]

[b0yracer]

a single spelling mistake that caused my divorce. i went to Amsterdam and sent my wife a text: "having the most amazing and wonderful time wish you were her "

[b0yracer]

a single spelling mistake that caused my divorce. i went to Amsterdam and sent my wife a text: "having the most amazing and wonderful time wish you were her "

[jayrs]

[b0yracer]

on hearing her elderly grandad had died, katie went to her 98 year old grans house. when she asked how he died?, gran replied. He had a heart attack during sunday morning sex" katie was aghast at her grandparents risking their lives making love. " we do it to the church bells, nice and slow, in on the ding out on the dong, she paused to wipe away a tear, Hed still be alive if the fudgekin icecream van hadnt come along!

[b0yracer]

margaret thatcher must be gutted- her 85th birthday and the only thing on telly-miners celebrating!

[luke_mk3_st]

margaret thatcher must be gutted- her 85th birthday and the only thing on telly-miners celebrating!

haha thats jokes!

[JamieFRST]

I'm on Dragons Den next week...I've invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat. I reckon prophets will go through the roof!

[jayrs]

I'm on Dragons Den next week...I've invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat. I reckon prophets will go through the roof!

[jayrs]

man goes to the doctors with a hearing problems . doc says can you explain the symptons ? man says yes homers fat and drinks beer and marg has blue hair

[JamieFRST]

Terrible but

[Ruishy1]

Interesting piece of history.

In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's bladder.

In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the goat first.

[jayrs]

[Ratspeed]

Feeling unwell, went to the doctors the other day. Then instead of my regular doctor, a stunning blond with perfect funlumps came in and said she was standing in for him.
She asked me what my problem was, so i said "well, i think my 'conquering device' tastes funny............."

[kyle_r]

Renault & Ford are in talks about a joint venture to build a new car.

There using the Renault CLIO & Ford TAURUS Called CLITAURUS comes in pink with fur on the dash

[b0yracer]

[knuckles]

Feeling unwell, went to the doctors the other day. Then instead of my regular doctor, a stunning blond with perfect funlumps came in and said she was standing in for him.
She asked me what my problem was, so i said "well, i think my 'conquering device' tastes funny............."

[luke_mk3_st]

Renault & Ford are in talks about a joint venture to build a new car.

There using the Renault CLIO & Ford TAURUS Called CLITAURUS comes in pink with fur on the dash

renault involved thats about right anyway it would be a load of c**t! hahaha

[heeman10]

One night a police woman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.

She says: "Anything you say can, and will be held against you."
He replies: "BREASTS."

[jayrs]

i fancied a take away last night, so i phoned the chinese, the guy answered the phone and said "herro, im Wan King the cook" i said, "No worries mate, i'll call back later"