fiestaturbo.com

[thesylph005]

3 Years ago I developed a rare webbed foot syndrome known as ducktivitis after a stressful and girm ridden six months working on the streets as a monkey pimp.

The webbing was thought to be caused partly by constant monkey stamping and my feet being covered in excrement as all i wore on my feet were snadalls. (My brother urged me to invest in some steel cap wellington boots but at the time i was nieve and ignored his advice.) When i slept, the monkeys would knibble on my toes.

Now i am having trouble getting ladies because of these damn webbed feet. I am able to approach and initiate conversation, but before i know it they have looked down, screamed and fled.

yesterday i managed to find a blind girl who never noticed my ductivitis, however i am starting to miss my minkeys, the way they nibbled on my toes at night and snuggled up to my legs when it was cold. How they never complaind and showed a true love for me.

What should i do?

[James_16v]

[InS@nE]

thank you for getting in touch mate, i can understand your problem as i to once owned a small pet money call barry. oh ho wi miss him, still the slippers made a nice present for my mum, any way back to.

if this girl is blind then all you simple have to do is tell her for you living you dress up as a duck and wander around an amusement park all day, this will then explaint he webbed feet as you can tell her it's part of the costume and that due to a freak accident with a tube of glue a small rodent and packet of polo mints that the fake legs are now attached to your body and your no longer able to take them off. as for the feeling of the monkeys rubbing your legs in the evening maybe try smearing chip fat on ya legs and covering yourslef with feathers, this will possbily give you a similar feeling but will also help ya possibly carry on the illusion that you are indeed a duck in a theme park

HTH as it's still very early in the morning

[TrekkieFRST]

Webbed feet is also usually an ailment of those from wisbech, or other such inbred communities

you inbred sonny?

[InS@nE]

Webbed feet is also usually an ailment of those from wisbech, or other such inbred communities

you inbred sonny?

trekkie, elms got webbed feet aint he

[TrekkieFRST]

Webbed feet is also usually an ailment of those from wisbech, or other such inbred communities

you inbred sonny?

trekkie, elms got webbed feet aint he

I think he has...I've never actually looks at his feet...but...rumours are that he has

[InS@nE]

well he's a farmer as well so it aint going to go to well for him is it

[TrekkieFRST]

He'll never get his foot in the door of a major corporation...maybe his trac'or but not is webbed foot

[InS@nE]

pimsle. elm = "Farmer Piles the webed wonder with marrows" or sumfin like that

[TrekkieFRST]

[thesylph005]

Dear mr In@[ERRR]

thankyou soo much for your help. the last few days have been tough but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I have thaught long and hard and dec cided to have a firm word with my mon keys, especialy hercccules. We have both agreed that it would be best for both of us to go our seperate ways. The guys have enrolled in a navyship on its ay to iraq and Hera kles as been appointed CCCCaptains Apprentice. Im so happy for him, but i will miss him deeply.

I have now invested in a pair of shoes, i dont know why i never did this earlier, funny isnt it, hah, my brother was right after all. Blindy died though, you would never have thaught hot tar and feathers cccould suffoc c cate you, but ow well, i was kkkkidding myself anyways.

Oh, and i would never have guessed it, but i was ofered a place in Oscc cars Traveling Freak Circcus, they must have spotted me at the zoo, so it looks like things have made a turn for the best.

Oh thankkkyou is@[ERRR] oh wise one, you have been my cccccandle in the dark i would never have been anyone without you.

Sadly now i have developed an incccapability to pronounce C C C C without stuttering. Im not sure why this has happened though, the doctor said it may be induced by a stressfaul ordeal, or the germs passed around by my monkkkeys, but those guys were so cccclean, i checkked. We had a wee kly hygine session in whiccch i would cccheck they have been showering and the best tool to do this was my tongue.

Anyways, i thin k i may be managing now, ladies dont scream in shockkkk when they see my feet, Ive met a girl on Oscccars Circccuis who has 12 fingers, she really is something special.

[InS@nE]

i'm so happy that things are working out for you mate.

with regards to the stutters problem. sellotape a rusty spoon to your forhead for 5 days, the minerals will slowly seep into your skin and make the stuttering go away. this may thou turn yout head a funny green color but this will fade after 1-2 years