fiestaturbo.com

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:08 am

I'm addicted to FT :cry:

what can i do?

someone sent me here cos apparently you give expert advice!

by **blonde racer** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:08 am

numb nuts go out and get pissed some more

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:09 am

no i drink too much already!

by **InS@nE** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:17 am

hello vix, the answer is quite simple.

see those things on your legs there called feet. place them on the floor and then swap them over thus causeing you to walk forward keep doing this for an hour each day (remember to open doors thou or you'll be stuck in a room) and you will soon see that there is a whole world out there to discover

if that dont help and ya still find yaself posting crap all day just rename yaself to chumkilla and no one will be any the wiser

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:23 am

ok, i might try it......but i love my pc :cry:

by **InS@nE** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:25 am

it's cheating on you thou, can you live with a pc that cheats!!! i saw it with my toaster last night.. go on ask it what time it got home

by **blonde racer** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:25 am

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:26 am

Its been with Nomad's kettle as well :cry:

how could it do this to me :cry:

by **InS@nE** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:29 am

omg my washing machine was with nomads kettle lastnight. the cheating whore

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:32 am

think we'll have to tell nomad....he'll be devastated.....

by **InS@nE** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 11:42 am

nah it'll kill him the poor bugger, he'll be putting up post in his own forum next asking for help, hoe humiliating(sp) would that be, best just keep it to ourselves

by **blonde racer** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:01 pm

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:05 pm

InS@[ERRR] :nah it'll kill him the poor bugger, he'll be putting up post in his own forum next asking for help, hoe humiliating(sp) would that be, best just keep it to ourselves

yeh thats prob for the best, we'll end up havin to have more forums for all these bloody electrical appliances cheating on their owners :cry:

by **InS@nE** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:14 pm

or a jerry springer epsiode, my vacume sucked off my oven :lol:

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:40 pm

by **~Vix~** on Tue Feb 18, 2003 1:46 pm

The Jerry Slinger Interactive Kinky Sex Special

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: Hello everybody and welcome to our special presentation for tonight...Jerry Slinger's Kinky Sex Stories...

Crowd hollers.

Jerry: That's right, tonight we are going to find out all kinds of utterly, utterly, terrifying information about our guests.

The crowd screams.

Jerry: So now, let's introduce...oven! Everybody please put your hands together!

oven walks out onto the stage dressed up like a long johns.

oven: Hi Jerry!

Jerry: Hey there oven, why don't you tell everyone here what you have to say...

oven: Well Jerry...I kind of have a special fetish...

The crowd LOVES it.

Jerry: Oh I see...and you're here to tell kettle about it right? In the hope that your fantasies can be realised?

oven: That's right Jerry.

Again the crowd screams.

Jerry: Okay, okay then, well why don't we bring kettle in then and see what they have to say.

kettle appears and walks across the stage, embracing oven.

Jerry: Okay, now kettle, you are probably wondering why you're here...

kettle: Yes Jerry...

Jerry: Well oven why don't you tell them why they're here...

oven: Well sweety...I have brought you here to tell you that...

kettle: You're gay?

oven: No! No, that's not it...it's just that I have, well, a sort of fetish...a fetish for feet...

kettle: Omigod!

kettle puts their hand over their mouth. The crowd goes crazy.

oven: I was wondering if...you could, well you know...help me with it. I dressed up in this uniform for you and everything...

kettle: Well yeah...yeah I guess...

oven: Really?

kettle: But on one condition...

oven: Anything!

kettle: I want you to eat strawberries off my leg...

The crowd goes INSANE.

Jerry: Okay, okay, but now I have to interrupt. Because there's actually something else that somebody needs to tell you kettle.

Crowd silences, from the shadows emerges toaster, sitting down next to kettle.

toaster: Thanks Jerry...okay here's the thing...you know how important your friendship is to me kettle...but, hell, I want MORE...

kettle: What are you saying?

toaster: I want to have passionate sex with you...

oven stands up rapidly from their seat. The crowd squeals with delight.

oven: Now wait just a minute!

kettle: I...I don't know what to say...I...

oven: You say no! No is what you say!

Jerry: Okay, everyone please let's just calm down for a second, please, because it just turns out that I now have a suprise for all three of you...

Jerry points to the side entrance onto the stage and vacuum appears with a big grin on their face. oven leaps out of their chair and lunges towards them, swinging wild punches...

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

The security guard pulls them apart and sits them on opposite sides of kettle. oven wipes away the dribble of blood from their nose while vacuum blinks a rapidly blackening eye.

oven: You piece of s**t, you've always been jealous of me and kettle, why don't you just face the fact that we're together? Huh?

vacuum: Oh yeah you have a great relationship don't you? When was the last time you had sex? Huh?

kettle: Only 89 hours ago actually.

The crowd explodes excitedly.

vacuum's face contorts and they leap out of their chair towards oven. oven stands and scoops up their chair, swinging it at vacuum in wild arcs. The security guards step in and drag them apart.

Jerry: Wait a second, wait a second, I've missed something here. Why are the two of you so angry at each other? vacuum help me out here.

vacuum: Well Jerry it's a long story...but basically I asked these two if they wanted to form a threesome with me...

Jerry: A threesome with who? kettle and oven?

vacuum: That's right Jerry, I think about them both all the time...

kettle: Omigod! You're sick do you know that? I don't even want to see you again! I'm in love with oven and that's how it's gonna' stay!
The crowd whoops and bellows in excitement. The camera moves out into the crowd and Jerry holds the microphone out to a young woman.

Young Woman: Yeah, I have a question for you down there...kettle, I have to ask, are you crazy not to want to get down with oven and vacuum or what? I think you should consider yourself more lucky! Oh and vacuum I've got something for you baby..!

The woman flashes her funlumps for not only vacuum but the whole world to see. The crowd explodes in excitement. Jerry steps away and looks sternly into the camera.

Jerry: Well as much as I wish that this could go on forever, i have to draw it to a close...and so i say this - what have morals stooped to in society today if we are even here talking about feet's and people getting their leg's licked? People harbouring secret obsessions for best friends, others seeking comfort in the numbers of threesomes. Throughout this all we've forgotten that two of the people down there are quite possibly in love and these peoples friends should respect that rather than just seeking fulfillment of their own desires. Thankyou...and goodnight.

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.