Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Jokes, random babbling and personal crisis counseling.

Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby Rhinopower on Thu May 01, 2008 9:14 pm

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that Bic™ knows I'm smarter than her.
Last edited by Rhinopower on Thu May 01, 2008 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls done put out

Postby lachojski2005 on Thu May 01, 2008 9:29 pm

that its f ing brilliant.think i got to try that.
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls done put out

Postby Tanya on Thu May 01, 2008 9:37 pm

:lol: :lol: Brilliant
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby frstvanman on Thu May 01, 2008 9:47 pm

nice 1 :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby Andyfloss03 on Fri May 02, 2008 11:37 am

haha that is absolutely quality LEGEND"!""""!!!"!"!" :D
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby M1K3Y_B on Sat May 03, 2008 11:35 am

Very smart :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby Ollybee on Sat May 03, 2008 11:09 pm

Old, but I love it still!
Those that can, do; and those that can't, talk about it.
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby ~nomad~ on Sun May 04, 2008 4:18 pm

old, and if you tried it with Immie she would kill you dead on the spot. :lol:
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby 285Andy on Sun May 04, 2008 4:43 pm

hehe :D
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby MattPym on Sun May 04, 2008 5:24 pm

that's a good one :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby xr2i_babe on Mon May 05, 2008 9:26 am

thats fcuking quality! lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke #2 - When girls dont put out

Postby ~S1~ on Mon May 05, 2008 10:10 am

~nomad~ :old, and if you tried it with Immie she would kill you dead on the spot. :lol:


We all know who wears the trousers in that relationship!
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