fiestaturbo.com

[JamieFRST]

Tom,


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel
like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
would ever want to wrong in any way.


There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even
try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a
stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us,
what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.
It is weird, the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile
if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel
beyond crushed.


I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't.
I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this
is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect
that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I
hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back
what happened. I am so sorry.





- Sarah





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
'Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about'.
You did a stupid thing huh?


No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid
thing'; Mixing in a red Sock with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing';
Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar
wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran
that morning isn't as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for
permanent removal from my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if

it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public
toilet not once, but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think
that by saying 'Well, I didn't f**k him' somehow gave you a clean slate.
So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most
unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24
hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think
you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the
mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your
average child pawn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you
really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.

Talk to you never,





Tom

[filtra]

lol excellent! Saved for a later date!

[285Andy]

[XRMike]

llama

[Ruishy1]

thats quality

where did you get that mate

[JamieFRST]

Just seen it on another site, made me chuckle so thought id post it.

[frstvanman]

[M440]

seen it before but still made me laugh. I wish I was clever enough to think of things like that at times of extreme pissed-off-ness...Instead I tend to crumple into a ball

[andymac]

Instead I tend to crumple them into a ball

Make hulk MAAAAAD !

Only kidding...

*backs away slowly*

[M440]

oooo you Bic™! I might come across as being a being a cold hearted witch that doesn't actually have any feelings but.......





....very occasionally I do

[jayrs]

[M440]

For example, I cried after I had Max.....oh and when Madge died in neighbours

[jayrs]

when Madge died in neighbours

i dunno whats worse, the factg you cried over that or the fact you watch it!

[fezanw]

Thats a wicked letter! I like the fact that he told her he sent it to other people to. haha it would come round to her at sometime

[M440]

when Madge died in neighbours

i dunno whats worse, the factg you cried over that or the fact you watch it!

Jay I was only about 10 when Madge died

[jayrs]

well seeing as i dont watch it im gunna guess it was a while ago then

[M1K3Y_B]

That was good