fiestaturbo.com

by **- Danny Boy -** on Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:27 pm

Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been
hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job
today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home
and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
silk box ers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell
me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband,

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

--------------------

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter..
It's true that we've been married for seven years,
although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the
first thing that came to mind was 'You looked just like
a girl!' and since my mother taught me not to say
anything if you can't say something nice, I chose not
comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I
turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still
on them, and I prayed that it was coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets
to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything
happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the
letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I do hope that's not a
problem.