fiestaturbo.com

[Ollybee]

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to
his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.

When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.

The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.

The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.

They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.

The man, frustrated, walked away. (*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER)

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.

A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family.

Unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend.

In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember ... they walk among us! ***

[dontpannic]

Brilliant! Some good ones there

[xrsi]

the burger king one is brilliant, closely followed by the plexiglass!

[heeman10]

A few of us were discussing the Darwin Awards just a couple of days back, gotta love em!

[filtra]

I remember a few years back the winner was a chap who went up on particularly high cliff during a lightning storm and decided it would be a good idea to pee through the metal hatched fence by the drop... As expected, lightning struck, travelled up his piss stream and exploded his penis burning various other internal organs. So next time your on a cliff with a metal fence during a lightning storm, it would be prudent to wee else where.

Theres a vid on you tube of a kid who won the darwin award. He opens a car door whilst moving, falls out, catches his head on a stationary car and supposedly dies. Vid just shows him falling out of car!

[dontpannic]

I remember a few years back the winner was a chap who went up on particularly high cliff during a lightning storm and decided it would be a good idea to pee through the metal hatched fence by the drop... As expected, lightning struck, travelled up his piss stream and exploded his penis burning various other internal organs. So next time your on a cliff with a metal fence during a lightning storm, it would be prudent to wee else where.

Theres a vid on you tube of a kid who won the darwin award. He opens a car door whilst moving, falls out, catches his head on a stationary car and supposedly dies. Vid just shows him falling out of car!

friend of a friend of a friend was killed in a similar fashion. He was a railway engineer and decided to piss down a small embankment, piss stream hits the live third rail, up the piss and burned him badly!