fiestaturbo.com

by **Tom_S** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 5:18 pm

for many years now ive wondered about a few things....if anyone can answer the questions below....i might get some sleep at night !!

Why does a woman's gynaecologist leave the room when she gets undressed?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

If you mated a bulldog and a sh*tsu, would it be called a bullsh*t?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

by **KitKat** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 5:43 pm

Some of that I heard before, but very funny.

by **~Vix~** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 7:02 pm

yeh seen some of them before, i had 13 pages of them that i posted! :lol:

by **Bumshake** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 8:09 pm

by **Daniel** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 8:27 pm

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Cos it would bugger the bulb

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?

It would have made a rubbish cartoon.

by **Mick GR** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 8:42 pm

Tom_S :for many years now ive wondered about a few things....if anyone can answer the questions below....i might get some sleep at night !!

Why does a woman's gynaecologist leave the room when she gets
undressed?

Common practice I guess

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

pulls the cheek down, stretching the eye so it's fully open

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?

Unless you brush them very slowly with little movement, no. Arse wiggling is the counter-effect of the top half of your body wiggling.

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

You wouldn't know them in any other way on the outside world.

If you mated a bulldog and a sh*tsu, would it be called a bullsh*t?

Mongrel.

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Hmmmm, got me.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

As mentioned, the cold would bugger the bulb.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

As soon as it's bottled it no-longer continues to be filtered, therfore it will stagnate, bacteria will thrive etc.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

No matter how low the heat in the toaster, it will burn eventually, just a matter of time.

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Oui.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

Whoever saw a calf sucking on the teets first and thought, hmm, wonder how that tastes. Probably some dirty farmer.

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can't speak chinese.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

I do.

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy can talk, Pluto can't. Talking goes a long way.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?

Instinct, going for his natural prey.

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

Got me again.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Testing.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Baby is a reference to what it is to be used on, while corn and veg are where it is derived.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Paint doesn't stay wet forever, stars however last billions of years. It may be quick drying.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Probably not, just be funny shaped spaghetti to them.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Notice that they face the wind side on when sticking their heads out of the window, when you blow at a dog's face, he immediately turns to the side.

Sorry, I am very bored at the minute.

by **chimp2k2** on Wed Apr 23, 2003 9:54 pm

Mick GR :
Tom_S :for many years now ive wondered about a few things....if anyone can answer the questions below....i might get some sleep at night !!

Why does a woman's gynaecologist leave the room when she gets
undressed?

Common practice I guess

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

pulls the cheek down, stretching the eye so it's fully open

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?

Unless you brush them very slowly with little movement, no. Arse wiggling is the counter-effect of the top half of your body wiggling.

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

You wouldn't know them in any other way on the outside world.

If you mated a bulldog and a sh*tsu, would it be called a bullsh*t?

Mongrel.

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Hmmmm, got me.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

As mentioned, the cold would bugger the bulb.

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

As soon as it's bottled it no-longer continues to be filtered, therfore it will stagnate, bacteria will thrive etc.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

No matter how low the heat in the toaster, it will burn eventually, just a matter of time.

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Oui.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

Whoever saw a calf sucking on the teets first and thought, hmm, wonder how that tastes. Probably some dirty farmer.

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can't speak chinese.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

I do.

Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Goofy can talk, Pluto can't. Talking goes a long way.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

YOU MISSED ONE OUT!!!!!!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?

Instinct, going for his natural prey.

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

Got me again.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Testing.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Baby is a reference to what it is to be used on, while corn and veg are where it is derived.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Paint doesn't stay wet forever, stars however last billions of years. It may be quick drying.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Probably not, just be funny shaped spaghetti to them.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Notice that they face the wind side on when sticking their heads out of the window, when you blow at a dog's face, he immediately turns to the side.

Sorry, I am very lacking in a suitable form of intellectual stimulation at the minute.